Thoughts of Mine

Good day friends~

Don't you sometimes wonder if your whole life is a novel?

I do, at least. I always wonder if I'm just making things up, or if they really happened. If that person just smiled at me, or was it my imagination? Do I like that guy, or is it all just fake? Am I making up that, that person is my friend, or do they really feel that way? There are always those little things that make me wonder if it's really only just my imagination. It's mostly with relationships and things like that. I sometimes have a false idea on what a person thinks of me. A person could think I'm okay, or maybe even non-existant, when I think that they despise me. I could think that I like a person, when they couldn't care less about our relationship. I get that feeling often, and always debate on wether my feelings are real or not. It's not easy to just go up to the person to make whatever official. That's not how it works. I'm sure if you had enough courage to do so, you could, but by doing so, you are basically stating that you don't trust that person enough to value their presence.

What if they are asking themselves the exact same thing?

What then? Do you both simply sit and think, and let that go forever? Do you confront the other and tell them what you are thinking, or are you worried of losing their friendship? Or do you forget? 

•Cranberry•

Aislynn Art Appreciation Post

Hello again darlings

It's been a while hasn't it?

okay no it really hasn't but whatever

So those who know me via deviantart most likely know of my little darling mascot, Aislynn. She was originally requested to be designed by one of my favorite artists, who did, and she turned out to be my most loved OC of all time so far. (the artist is selfless, wonderful, and has AMAZING art. It would be completely worth your money to go commission her.) She is also going to be integrated into a comic I'm working on at the moment, called "GRIMOIRE of Cataclyst", and I am most likely going to release the first chapter in October sometime. The origin of her name, aisling, mean 'vision', or 'dream', and that transferred into Aislynn that she is named now. She always manages to inspire me, or simply make me happy. :> My darling Aislynn. <3

And now on to the main point of this post!

I have accumulated a largeish collection of art from people around deviantart, and would like to show off the wonderful work of my baby!

On with the art!

(original art/design)

http://ipaiflame.deviantart.com/art/Colors-of-the-Sky-317869556

http://ipaiflame.deviantart.com/art/AT-Aislynn-397776714

http://ipaiflame.deviantart.com/art/Aislynn-397255525

http://ipaiflame.deviantart.com/art/Art-Trade-Aislynn-395510355

http://ipaiflame.deviantart.com/art/It-s-ending-commission-400160715

http://ipaiflame.deviantart.com/art/Art-Trade-IpaiFlame-395125981

http://ipaiflame.deviantart.com/art/Art-Trade-IpaiFlame-395125981

http://ipaiflame.deviantart.com/art/AT-ipaiflame-400735365

http://ipaiflame.deviantart.com/art/Taste-The-Rainbow-366115128

<3 my bby forever~

and if you drew her or what not I'd love you forever as well

•Cranberry•

I hate it

So I've been thinking.

This has always bothered me, no matter what, or who I was around, but theres not much I can really do about it. I find myself to be friends with the outgoing, charismatic, kind and overly wonderful people of my age, but with quirks. I always thought, "I'm friends with the quiet, shy, nerdy and not outgoing people AT ALL.", but if I really think about it, most of my very good friends are all extremely nice, very giving, kind, and just beautiful people. I'm the complete opposite. 

I am someone, who gives out affection rather sparingly. 

I find myself wondering if I acted respectfully around my friend's family, if they thought I was okay, and I'm almost always awkward for the first couple of times. I'm sure you think, "well, that's completely normal!", but it really bothers me. I am a complete perfectionist. I have to get rank S on all of my favorite game levels, I have to perfect the stance of that character I was drawing a minute ago, I have to get the recipe just right. It's the same with people. I really care what my friends think. Some people say that it's your friends that you shouldn't have to care about, but for me it's the opposite. Of course I care what other people think of me, image wise, but when it comes down to how I act, my friends count the most. I feel horrible if I cut them off. I feel bad about saying something that may lead to them or someone else around me feeling slightly put off. 

For a slight example: If I was staying at a friend's house, or whatnot, and two of my friends start arguing about something that may include me, even though it has nothing to do with me in the first place, I feel completely responsible. I may just even wander off, and blame myself for that whole incident. I mean sure, I feel that way a lot, and by even writing this I feel responsible for anything even slightly awkward... (that I still keep in memory, which I really shouldn't.... :T) but most of the time it really isn't my problem. 

I am continuesly blaming myself for things I feel that I should have corrected, or stepped in, or just apologized for, minor or major problem. Maybe, by writing this, I can get some of this off of my chest, and stop carrying the weight for a while. 

On another note, (or not-so-much-another-note, but more the same one.) I feel the same way with relationships. This is slightly awkward to admit, but on a blog, where really, none of my friends or people that I see every day read, what's the worst that could happen? I have never actually been in a relationship, or rather, never allowed myself to be in one. I always feel as though, I am the threat to the person I am attracted to. I might mess up something! I might lose their friendship! I might be intruding and be completely unwanted. I always am the last one on my list when it comes to those types of things. Yet I so wish that I would find someone. I always tell myself, "wait until college!" and it's not all that far away, but even then, I'll probably feel the same. 

I have the stupid, typical, selfish, shy problem: I want the person to come to me. 

I'm often the one reaching out my hand when it comes to friends, but with some exceptions. I only choose the people my intuition moves me too. I don't think I've actually have a "bad" friend. Most all of my friends I've ever met, are still my friends, and are the same wonderful people they were 5 years ago. I don't take risks. If it means that I might be in an awkward situation, or mess something up, I don't tell the person. I just wait... and observe. 

It's stupid. I haven't ever told a person I like them. I've never told them I might possibly have more serious feelings. I am almost always feeling that. I know so many wonderful people, but I can't make the stretch to tell them. Even if they're right in front of me. 

•Cranberry•

Hello you beautiful darlings!

I need your help!

(voting ends the 31st of August)

I entered a contest, for an art shop in my city, and I need YOUR vote! It would make me oh, so happy if you even gave me but one star! <3 The site is in german, so for those who speak english, here are the instructions how to vote: 

•go to the site, my entry is the one on the third row down, with green hair, a pink dress, and a blue background....

•just click on the stars below, and give me the amount you think I deserve!  

Link: http://www.kautbullinger.de/buerofachgeschaefte/aktionen/coffee-to-go-abstimmung

Thank you so much! It means a lot to me! :>

•Cranberry•

a thing

Good day my friendlies!

Ooookay. So heres an extremely small topic that I've been thinking about lately.

So I spent the last couple of days with my friends, enjoying the summer weather.... and staying inside playing video games and watching movies. don't judge me kay. We were talking about who knows what, when one of my friends asks me what age I would want to be. I find this question quite interesting, because tell you the truth, I've never really thought about that. Every age has it's perks, but there is always a down side as well. For example if I said 18, I would have more freedom than now, but that comes with more responsibilities, and if I wanted to work, I would have to pay taxes. I would be able to drink, and be able to drive, but I would have to pay for everything else. (an apartment, electric bill, water bill.... etc.) If I said the age of 11-13/14, then you would be taken care of, have a place to live without rent, not have to buy your own groceries, and have less responsibilities. But of course, you would have less freedom, and would not be taken as seriously as an 18 year would be.

of course this all depends on how your lifestyle is, so this is only an example.

I would have to say, that I would like to be a certain age, depending on the situation. But thats what everyone wants, right?

I hope you all are enjoying the summer, and for those out of school, your time off. Thank you again you wonderful people!

•Cranberry•

<3

Interesting Find

Hello you amazing darlings!

First of all, I'd just like to say thank you, for following my adventures, and for an amazing, whopping 4,000 views! I couldn't have come this far without you! (literally, so thanks~) <3

•First Topic•

Okay, so I'm not going to take all that much to write about it, because I know some of you could care less, but who remembers the TV show "The Sweet Life of Zack and Cody"? Let me tell you, that show was the show that I used to go over to my best friend's house, (because we didn't own cable.) just to sit down and watch. I remember loving their humor, (and at that age, I of course had a crush on a twin... though I can't remember who. :> I just couldn't tell them apart!) and the crazy adventures they went on.

Once I moved to Germany though, I stopped watching it all together.... that was.... what 6 years ago? 

This morning on Facebook, I stumbled across a post made about the twins. I was surprised, because I haven't seen anything about them since watching that show, and now, I can tell them apart! (I really like how he grew his hair out. It states a sort of change for me. uwu)

[still as giggly as ever I see boys.]

Okay, moving on to the main reason of this topic! I searched them, of course, and found that Cole seemed to have [had] a tumblr, which I rarely see any celebrity ever having. "Coleture Concept' is what it [was] named. (pffff oh that pun. =v=) Checking it out, I'm not entirely sure what I expected, as the last time I saw anything regarding their personality was 6 years ago. Of course, they both have matured, but I was quite impressed with the stuff on there. 

This one quite impressed me: 

"I’ve been asked a couple times, and put down upon mind you, why I choose to write the way I do. 

“Cole, do you even speak like you write? pffff” -said the alot.

Does anyone?  How the translation from the ear/voice to the muscles in the hand, and then to the eyes as a means of vocal or written expression takes place, I am not familiar. 

I will say however, that I adapt my language and rhetoric based on the company or the thoughts I’m then surrounded with, which I assume everyone does to some extent. When you text, do you spell out every word? or do you find new abbreviations for such?  If so, do you speak those abbreviations in public?  This translation happens more than one would think. 

Next time you’re surrounded by your closest friends, keep track of the language you use.  Then compare its form to that which you speak in front of colleagues, teachers, co-workers, elders, etc.  Do they honestly take similar form?  Experience says no. 

My point is that, depending on the audience, one should have the ability to create a performance which will yield the greatest rewards. (unless of the course, the opposite is sought after)

Language is important, especially when it is your own.  Don’t belittle your own thoughts with poor prose, embolden them with only the greatest of grammar. 

Like waxing your car no?"

And let me tell you that I completely agree. I quite enjoy reading through his little posts.      if any of you wish to check them out, here is the link: http://coletureconceptarchive.tumblr.com (This is not the real Cole Sprouse, it is simply an archive of his tumblr posts.)

•Second Topic•

Homestuck music.

I have just recently re-entered the Homstuck fandom, and I am only just starting act 6, so NO SPOILERS! But there is one thing that I must say is possibly my most favorite thing ever: the OST. I kid you not, the composer or whoever created the genius soundtrack, has bedazzled my mind and senses with musical masterpieces. 

Here are SOME of my favorites: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T86uquWB9Mw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXgPNyd45A4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54YThzEi4bk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOkeFOkE7No

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75kJb_aAvKY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBnCIpVQTls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aPJVZMW4xI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7WRrBG6BM8

These OSTs have a mixture of everything, and make me emotional every time. For those who have not read the webcomic, you can go to mspaintadventures.com and read it.

Thank you for everything <3

•Cranberry•

Homestuck [The Kids]

So I Re-entered The Homestuck Fandom

And Here Are A Variety Of Gifs

That I Collected

That I Love

[The Kids]

•Cranberry•